A Few Words

Discussion in 'The Soapbox' started by Suzuran, Nov 1, 2014.

  1. Suzuran

    Suzuran Hope will never die!

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    I suppose I'll start this by saying this isn't a farewell. It's not like you guys see all that much of me these days, anyway.

    This is, however, a bit of a resignation. I know this sort of thing is normally kept to the staff forums, but I have things I want to say that I want everyone to see.

    It feels a bit weird now, thinking about how I joined this site in 2011. I normally don't stay in one place too long, but something about this community really pulled me in. Although I was a bit shy, I really did feel welcome here. Fast forward three years, past some rough times and a lot of drama, but also some really great times I wouldn't trade for anything... and that vibrant community's deflated. The site's effectively dead. The magic is gone.

    And, to be really, completely honest, I haven't really felt welcome here anymore for at least a year. My adventure's sitting and rotting. I rarely post. I sort of halfheartedly keep up the Minecraft server despite paying out of pocket for it. EPIC was great for a bit, and then it just... turned into constant drama and infighting. We've always been at each other's throats, and... maybe my tolerance for drama's just dropped off. I don't know. I fully admit there's some people here I can't stand- won't name names, you guys don't deserve that.

    I guess I'm trying to say I don't really know why I've drifted away from the site. Maybe it's my changing interests and natural wanderlust. Maybe it's the fact that I feel like most of everything I post is just getting dropped into an empty room and ignored. Maybe it's the fact that the soul's gone out of the site, and once I got sick of having to wait 48 hours for an update that I probably wouldn't have anything to respond to with anyway there wasn't much point in being here with the rest crumbling too. But I've definitely felt alienated here- I don't feel like I belong and haven't for a while.

    ...But for whatever reason, I keep coming back. I check up on the site once a day, still- sometimes logged in, sometimes not. I still remember what this place used to be like. I still value the close friendships I made here, even if I'm not the best at keeping in touch. And I hate seeing the site like this, not feeling like I am a part of it or wanted as a part of it anymore.

    Maybe it can be fixed. Maybe we can get the old days back. I don't know. I'm not optimistic. The rational part of me says that it's probably just time to let it go.

    However, if by some miracle things do get better, I'd like to be a part of this place again, if you'll have me. But it won't be as staff. I'm in college now, and I've got my own projects to work on. I've got some fanfic I'm writing, there will be an SA2 LP coming when I have the time to sit down and just record for a while, and most excitingly of all... my first original game project is Honestly Seriously Under Development For Real. I don't have time to pour into the site anymore, not that I ever really did.

    But come whatever may, I'll stick around. Maybe not as quite the same active part of the community I once was, but someone who'll chip in on threads every once in a while and make fun stuff for you guys to enjoy. Thanks for everything, guys. I mean it.
     
  2. Roxas

    Roxas Prince of the Stars Administrator

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    I appreciate you taking the time to post all of this. I know you've felt this way for a while and I guess I was too caught up in everything else to talk to you about it and...I feel really bad for it. I don't want anyone to feel alienated on OI because that's kind of the complete opposite of what we'd want to accomplish here.I know we ca't change the past but I hope moving forward we're a bit more inviting and accepting of everyone.

    I hope you don't vanish completely because I actually did genuinely like talking to you. And I'm grateful that despite your feelings about OI you were still paying to host a Minecraft server. I don't think I would've, to be completely honest.

    Good luck with college, I know how stressful that can be. And good luck with your in-real-life projects! I'm sure they're going to turn out amazing.
     
  3. Haas

    Haas The Master of the Night Administrator

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    I'm sad to hear that you didn't feel like a part of the OI community because I saw you as a core member, especially while EPIC was a thing. I wish you luck on the many projects you are working on and hope I can still see you around.
     

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